[Hikari's Izakaya Diary] Feeling Warm Inside (6/11/2023)

I'm not sure if it's something that comes through in my streams, or if you all are just really perceptive, but whenever I start feeling a little worn down or stressed from streaming, you all are quick to tell me to rest more, or leave comments cheering me on and sending warm words my way. I used to think that as Taiwan's brightest V-sun — Hikari — it was my job to bring warmth to everyone else. But almost a year into this now, I've really come to realize it's actually you, the viewers, whose warmth is what lets me stream with peace of mind. (Also, you all gave me so much helpful advice when I was suffering through that dyshidrotic eczema flare-up!)

Like I mentioned last week, I've got more and more collabs lined up these days. This week I had two: one with Zhaizhai Juntuanzhang, and one with Yisuodu. Whether I'm hosting on my own channel or getting invited onto someone else's, collabs are always a blast. Unlike streaming solo, talking directly with other people face-to-face makes me feel really at ease — I can freely share my thoughts, and honestly it's got me thinking about whether I should start planning more casual chat-style projects with other VTubers. Especially after every collab wraps up, I love sticking around a bit longer to keep chatting with everyone, swapping thoughts, checking in on each other. Interactions like that make me really grateful I decided to become a VTuber in the first place, and remind me how many fellow VTuber friends are out there working just as hard as I am.

In my first month at SODAART, I honestly worried a little — like, would this old monk fit in with a group of adorable girls? But this month happened to bring a lot of chances for everyone to hang out and swap thoughts, so I got to know the rest of the team a lot better. And honestly? Everyone here is just genuinely great. I'm so happy I got to join this studio, and I can't wait to keep working alongside everyone and make a real name for ourselves in the V-scene!

(Hikari with a scraped-up scalp, illustrated by Kitami)

Growing up, I always felt like I was the one taking care of everyone else. It took a long time before I realized — I'm lonely too, sometimes, and that I actually want to be cared for and loved as well. Thank you all for giving me that. My life feels full of warmth right now.